HOW HUSBANDs COPE… THE OTHER FACE IN THE MIRROR By Tito Solomon (husband of Me’anne Alcordo-Solomon)

I HAVE TO ADMIT THAT THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I AM SPEAKING IN PUBLIC ABOUT ME’ANNE’S BOUT OF BREAST CANCER.

IT HAS BEEN EXACTLY 4 YEARS SINCE ME’ANNE WAS DIAGNOSED WITH BREAST CANCER ON SEPTEMBER 2, 2004.

THEN I DIDN’T KNOW IF I TOOK THE NEWS WELL AS COMPARED TO ME’ANNE’S BRAVE FRONT.

INITIALLY I FELT VERY DOWN AND SHOCKED AT THE SAME TIME, FOR THE LACK OF SUBSTANTIAL KNOWLEDGE ON CANCER, THE IMMEDIATE THOUGHT IS THAT CANCER IS A FATAL DISEASE….THE POSSIBLE LOSS OF ME’ANNE IMMEDIATELY CROSSED MY MIND AND AS SUCH, THE FEELING OF DEEP SADNESS.

SHOCKED AS IT WAS SOMEHOW INCOMPREHENSIBLE – THAT MY SUPERKALIFRAGILISTICESPECALLYDOCIOUS WIFE; IN SHORT MY SUPERWIFE: BUBBLY AND ENERGETIC ME’ANNE WOULD BE DIAGNOSED WITH CANCER.

OOPS…I FORGOT TO ADD, MY BEAUTIFUL AND RAVISHING WIFE.

WHEN I SAW HOW MY KIDS REACTED TO THEIR MOM’S DIAGNOSIS, I KNEW I HAD TO STEP UP. I SOMEHOW TOOK COMMAND OF THE SITUATION.
I GUESS IT WAS OVERWHELMING FOR THAT DAY OF SEPTEMBER 2, 2004 SINCE ALL THE TESTS WERE DONE ON THE SAME DAY

- HER MAMMOGRAM

- HER ULTRASOUND

- HER FINE NEEDLE BIOPSY

- OUR MEETING WITH OUR SURGEON – DR. CRIS DY AND DR. SHAWN ESPINA
IT WAS COMFORTING AND REASSURING THAT OUR SURGEONS WERE OUR FRIENDS.
INITIALLY, ME’ANNE WAS TO HAVE A MASTECTOMY BUT I WOKE HER UP IN THE RECOVERY ROOM AND TOLD HER THAT SHE STILL HAS 2-TOYS.

KUNG SA TAGALOG, EH SUSO, SA BISAYA ITS 2-TOYS: 1 TOY + 1 TOY = 2 TOYS.
I CONSIDERED THAT AS ONE OF THE 1ST GOOD SIGN THAT MAYBE ME’ANNE WOULD SURVIVE HER CANCER YET THE FEAR AND SADNESS WAS STILL THERE THAT ONE CAN’T HELP THINK OF THE WORST CASE SCENARIO.

THE 2ND SIGN WAS WHEN THE RESULTS OF THE BIOPSY OF HER LYMPHNODES CAME IN EARLIER THAN EXPECTED – ON MAMA MARY’S BIRTHDAY, SEPTEMBER 8, 2004 – NEGATIVE MEANING HER CANCER STAGE WAS DOWN GRADED FROM A STAGE 3 TO STAGE 2A.

MY WIFE IS SOMETHING – SHE WOULD BE THE ONE WHO WOULD BE STRONG FOR US. SHE WOULD MAKE THE MOST OF EACH DAY.

WHEN I WOULD BRING HER TO HER CHEMO, SHE WOULD NOT LET ME STAY AND WAIT.
INSTEAD SHE REQUESTED FOR A PORTABLE DVD PLAYER WHERE SHE WATCHED HER FAVORITE SHOWS LIKE ALL 10 SEASONS OF FRIENDS, SEINFELD AND CSI (SORRY, SOME DVDs WERE PIRATED).

SHE IS KIKAY TOO. YOU CAN JUST IMAGINE HER FASHION SENSE THEN – HER MASKS HAD ALL THE EMBELLISHMENTS AND BORLOLOYS – A BUTTERFLY HERE OR FLOWERS THERE AND SHE WAS SO THRILLED THAT HER FRIENDS WOULD EVEN CONTRIBUTE TO THE DESIGNS FOR HER KIKAY MASKS.

HER BANDANAS ALSO WERE NOT SPARED – SHE WOULD PUT AGAIN BUTTERFLIES AND FLOWERS. I WAS AFRAID THAT SHE WOULD PUT A BILAO OF FRUITS TOO.
KNOWING MY WIFE, “MABABAW ANG KALIGAYAHAN NIYA”

SHE WAS THRILLED WHEN I WOULD CARRESS AND KISS HER BALD HEAD.
I WOULD SURPRISE HER BY BUYING WHATEVER FOOD SHE WAS CRAVING AND DO SOME SURPRISE SHOPPING FOR HER LIKE GETTING HER A NEW BANDANA.

OUR 2 KIDS – A DAUGHTER MA-ANN WHO WAS THEN 18 AND A SON MIKEY – WHO WAS THEN 16 COPED DIFFERENTLY THOUGH.

BUT WITH ME’ANNE’S “CANCERING”, IT BROUGHT THE FAMILY CLOSER. WE BECAME OPEN TO OPEN ANOTHER. WE BECAME MORE SENSITIVE TO EACH OTHER’S NEEDS.

I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A SPIRITUAL PERSON THAT IS WHY I BELIEVE MY WORRIES ENDED WHEN MY FAITH BEGAN.

SINCE THEN ME’ANNE HAS BEEN DRIVEN TO PAY IT FORWARD IN ANYWAY SHE CAN. SHE IS PASSIONATE WITH ROTARY ESPECIALLY WITH THE ROTARY CLUB OF CEBU FUENTE – AND WITH THE BREAST CANCER ADVOCACIES WITH ICANSERVE TO NAME A FEW.

I DON’T REALLY KNOW WHERE SHE GETS HER ENERGY BUT SHE TELLS ME IT’S BECAUSE SHE LOVES WHAT SHE IS DOING THROUGH GOD’S GRACE.
LIKE WHAT ME’ANNE WOULD ALWAYS SAY, LIFE BECAME BETTER AFTER CANCER.
WE LAUGHED MORE AND WE LOVED MORE.

SHE EVEN SHOPPED MORE THAT I TOLD HER

THAT MY WALLET ALREADY HAD STAGE 4 CANCER

TAKE CARE OF YOUR HEALTH BECAUSE HEALTH IS WEALTH.

EARLY DETECTION SAVES LIVES AND EARLY DETECTION SAVES MONEY.
I KNOW THAT I AM NOT THE ONLY HUSBAND OF A SURVIVOR IN THE ROOM….I WOULD LIKE TO REQUEST THE OTHER HUSBANDs TO PLEASE STAND.

(PAUSE SO THAT THE OTHER HUSBANDS WOULD STAND)

YOU ARE NOT ALONE. AS THE HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL SONG GOES “WE’RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER”

I WOULD LIKE TO CLOSE MY SHARING BY SHOWING THIS VIDEO PREPARED BY DR. BILL RAMOS WHICH FEATURES MY WIFE, MY FAMILY AND HER BREAST FRIENDS.